The notion that we are too nice rather than insufficiently kind as a culture is a counterintuitive conclusion. It runs contrary to a widely held belief that is easy to adopt if one does not look too deeply: that kindness begets only goodwill and produces only betterment and harmony. Such a belief is easy to hold, until greater experience with the world contradicts it. Eventually, we observe that some take undue advantage of our kindness. A close cousin to this is the notion that we could have peace if we were just nice enough to everyone – a notion that seems intuitive in theory, but falls down hard when faced with an enemy who is emboldened by displays of weakness. Such an approach may work well enough confined to the scope of the people we know, but is ill-equipped to deal with malevolent actors who don’t share the goodwill or reasonable nature of our familiar peer group.

Life has a way of challenging our easy theories born of first-stage analyses, if we’re honest with ourselves and keep our eyes open. I’ve arrived at where I am through years of observing and seeking to better understand, and I don’t doubt there’s more learning coming my way. The results have put me at odds with popular conclusions on issues and dominant and deeply held ways of thinking, and that has brought me an unhappy isolation at times, but I realize it should not surprise me that easier conclusions that require less introspection and life experience are going to be widely held. I hope, through writing and conversations, to show others bits of what I see that I believe have value, and I think that’s a largely worthwhile pursuit. But I also suspect there are things one must see candidly for oneself to be persuaded of.

This idea of counterintuitive conclusions and the need to move beyond first-stage analysis to get to more accurate models of the world has some value to offer, I think. It’s been on my mind to mine that vein further here and see where it goes. Stay tuned.